The Dark Side of Acne – Feeling Ugly and Unacceptable

I grew up as a child truly believing that I was ugly and unacceptable.

These emotions didn’t magically change as I grew older either. When puberty came, acne was right there as a reminder of how unacceptable I really was. I couldn’t wait for the day when puberty was over and the acne would go away. But, I entered my 20’s and I still continued to have acne. This made me hide, inhibited me from dating more, and drove home a sense of me not being wanted by anyone.

I had many events from the past, stretching deep into my childhood that were the foundations of why I felt this way about myself. Things happened, I interpreted them a certain way, and out of those memories solidified a great sense of feeling ugly and unacceptable. This was my truth. It doesn’t mean it was THE truth, but it was all I knew for a very long time.

I love the emotional side of healing. It is the foundation and basis of Chinese medicine. It is also the most under explored and misunderstood part of healing as well.  The memories we go through and the emotions or states of being that get generated from those experiences can later manifest physically into the body.

Acne is one such health issue. Every health issue needs our care from every aspect – physically, energetically, emotionally and spiritually. Most of the time, we turn to the physical expression of health issues and deal with this first. Many things can be done to help someone heal physically from acne.

For me, I ultimately knew that the way I felt about myself was having an effect on this for me. It wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s and had some big internal shifts that I finally started to seeing myself as acceptable and as pretty decent looking. It sounds funny to say, but it is the truth. All I saw was an ugly shell because the way I felt about myself covered up or filtered the real truth of being good enough and acceptable. I had to learn how to love myself, by letting go of the inner self-hatred I was holding onto.

In The Secret Language of The Body, Inna Segal says that these are the consciousness or emotional factors that fuel acne.

“Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin, insecure, unacceptable, rejected, not good enough, unworthy of love. Holding on to self-hatred. Trying to hurt and punish yourself for past mistakes. Controlling; demanding unrealistic perfection from self. Overly sensitive.”

If you had acne growing up, do any of these resonate? Do they still resonate?

The intention of letting go is your total and complete freedom. Two of the tools that I use clinically to help people facilitate letting go is Tapping and The Sedona Method. Here are some prompts to use.


  1. “Even though I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, I choose (want to or deeply) love and accept myself.”

  2. “Even though I feel so insecure, I choose (want to or deeply) love and accept myself.”

  3. “Even though I feel totally unacceptable, I choose (want to or deeply) love and accept myself.”

  4. “Even though I feel ugly and that no one wants me, I choose (want to or deeply) love and accept myself.”

  5. “Even though I feel like I’m not good enough, I choose (want to or deeply) love and accept myself.”

  6. “Even though I hate myself for what I have done (be specific), I choose (want to or deeply) love and accept myself.”

  7. “Even though I feel so guilty for what I’ve done (be specific), I choose (want to or deeply) love and accept myself.”

  8. “Even though I feel like I have to be perfect, I choose (want to or deeply) love and accept myself.”

Tap through each one for as many rounds as you need until you feel released.

The Sedona Method:

Could you welcome all the sensations (in your body), pictures and sounds that are the evidence you know you feel (insert emotion)?  Do this for each emotion.

Is that (insert emotion) there because of you wanting approval (rejection), control (being controlled), security (giving up) or separation (oneness)?

Whichever WANT you notice the most, could you just set it free? Would you? When?

  • Could you let go of wanting approval?

  • Could you let go of wanting control?

  • Could you let go of wanting security?

  • Could you let go of wanting separation?

Repeat this process as many times as needed until you feel released on the totality of all aspects of the feelings and experience.

Both of these modalities work so brilliantly to help you fully be present with what is there for you and so that you can be free.  They are simple prompts and questions, but when you truly interact with them and set your emotions free, love and peace are waiting for you on the other side of surrender.

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